Things I Have Learned --

Life ain't fair. And it's not supposed to be.

People are mirrors. They reflect back what you show them.

Don't take advice from someone more screwed up than you are.

I'm the maker of my destiny. I'm the only one that can make my life be how I want it to be, and if I do this no one can take it away. This is always a work in progress.

Growth occurs in two ways, through love or through pain.

You and everyone else will always fall short of perfection. To expect it is to guarantee failure.

You have the right to be mad. You don't have the right to be cruel.

People essentially want only two things in life: To love and to be loved.

Never enter a situation in which you have no options. These are known as traps.

Time spent with your kids is not wasted.

You can't become who you want to be by staying the way you are.

When someone says: "The reality is -- ", it means: "What I want you to believe is -- ", and seldom has to do with reality.

Don't complain about getting older. It beats the alternative.

When the pain of not doing it outweighs the pain of doing it, you'll do it.

Protect your eyes. You get ONE pair.

A good life doesn't come from doing what's fun, but from living right. Living right often means doing what is NOT fun.

Love is a wonderful and powerful thing, but all by itself it is not enough.

Friends may come and go. Enemies are forever.

Give blood.

You don't get to choose your family but you do get to choose your friends. Choose wisely.

A parent's most difficult and important job is to raise their children to not need them.

Get the best-fitting shoes you can.

A smile is the easiest and quickest way to make yourself attractive.

Use sweet words. They go down easier when you have to eat them.

Buckle up.

Don't waste breath arguing with a fool or a drunk.

Loving someone is easy. Living with someone is hard.

Suffering cures shallowness.

NEVER take diuretics and sleeping meds at the same time.

Time speeds up as you get older.

You can't outrun radio.

Talk to old folks. It's astounding what they've experienced and what you'll learn from them.

Learn to cook.

Anger is a form of fear.

Manners are the oil of society.

Helping others helps you.

Dance.

Kindness is its own reward.

The Golden Rule is never inappropriate.

Never make fun of others less fortunate. You will come to regret it.

Your parents get smarter as you age.

Don't wear a white swimsuit.

It's better to be quiet and let people wonder if you're ignorant than to speak and remove all doubt.

Invest in a good suit. Weddings and funerals are inevitable.

Don't destroy anyone's dreams and don't let anyone destroy your's.

There is good reason why you have two ears but only one mouth.

There is a big difference between being honest and being brutally honest. One is honesty, the other is brutality.

Things are almost never black or white. Life comes mostly in shades of gray.

My ability to affect other people, places, and things is almost nil, but I can affect my response to them.

Don't try to bathe a cat.

When your life is in the pits quit digging.

If you lend someone money and never see them again it was a good investment.

If you have two good arms and legs, you're blessed. Just ask someone who doesn't.

We judge ourselves based on our intentions, but everyone else judges us based on our actions.

Second chances don't come around very often. If you get one grab it with both hands and hang on for all you're worth.

The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge.

The happiness in my life depends on the quality of my thoughts.